Friday, October 30, 2009

Fox Farts Out Opinions To Destroy Journalism As We Know It

Part 2 of The Toilet Chronicles will be finished soon.
I have been busy posting comments on another blog about the legitimacy of Fox "News" which has gotten me in a lather like Bill O'Reilly with a loofah!

While in said lather, I read this article by Dan Gainor today and what's a girl to do, I HAD to respond!

The original article is in green (I couldn't help myself) and my replies are in black.

Enjoy!

Eco-Nuts Out to Destroy Life As We Know It
Around the globe on Saturday environmental protesters tried “a synchronized burst of more than 4,300 demonstrations, from the Himalayas to the Great Barrier Reef,” according to The New York Times.

The sweeping October 24 protest was to bully developed nations like the United States into a climate change agreement when they meet in Copenhagen this December.

The 350.org protesters, who want to drop CO2 in the atmosphere to that level, were especially critical of the United States:

Reporting of facts thus far, not very Fox-like Dan. I wonder what's going on?!

“You have destroyed nature with your industrial waste and gases more than any other nation in history. Despite this, you refuse to sign the Kyoto agreement so that you can secure the profit of your greedy companies and industries.”

And there it is... Welcome to Fox.

Oops, that’s wasn’t the eco-nuts, that’s a direct quote from Usama bin Laden in 2002. --While Al Qaeda and eco-nuts use different tactics, they share a similar enemy: civilization.

This is a classic Fox/bully technique. Try to distract the argument and employ name calling, finger pointing and yelling. This changes the argument from focusing on facts and logic which would thereby foster debate and perhaps understanding. But see, when discussion ensues and logic reigns, there's no more Fox.

Eco-nuts - do those come salted or honey roasted? Yum!

At least Al Qaeda is clear about what it wants -- an end to Western civilization and establishment of global Shariah law -- the Islamic version of cave men times with better architecture.

There's that classic Fox bully technique - name calling. Yes, environmentalists are EXACTLY like Al Qaeda, what with all their talk of recycling, gardening, taking personal responsibility for your impact on the planet and the like - these are terrorist acts!

Would throwing an empty plastic water bottle at certain commentators heads be considered upcycling?

The eco-nuts have a patchwork of things they hate and want banned or destroyed.

Since Fox is so totally awesome at the bully technique and imitation is the highest form of flattery and all, how about we refer to Fox journalists, commentators, entertainers and clowns as Fox Farts, Fox Fools or Fox Fear Mongering Fascists? I am clearly partial to alliteration.

The week of the 350 protests, The Times wrote glowingly about the Swedes are now including carbon footprint labeling on all food. The Times’ Elisabeth Rosenthal was quick to point out “changing one’s diet can be as effective in reducing emissions of climate-changing gases as changing the car one drives or doing away with the clothes dryer, scientific experts say.” I love it when people who have a huge subway system at their disposal bemoan the automobile.

You do realize Dan that climate changing gases come from things other than personal automobiles don't you? One example would be transportation of food (which is why the terrorists, I mean eco-nuts, support "eating local". Another big culprit would be gassy windbags who spew opinions filled with hate and fear but insist on being called journalists, well they insist until they have to take responsibility and then they remind us that they aren't journalists.

Dan, being a Fox Fart you might have been exposed to some of this unfortunate gas, in fact you might not be able escape it, like it's emanating from your own body and clinging to your skin.

The new labeling guidelines were a predictable attempt to manipulate what people eat. “[T]hey are advised to substitute beans or chicken for red meat,” the October 22 article proclaimed. The left hasn’t bestowed human rights on beans…yet.

I'm sure the Fox Fools will soon be reporting that the left believes that homobeans will have the right to marry and all beans have the right to abortion. And we cannot stand for that folks, the marrying of homebeans and aborting of baby beans will tear at the fabric of our country.

Two days later, London’s Daily Express complained that Fido was a global threat as well. “A medium-sized dog has the same carbon impact as a Toyota Land Cruiser driven 6,000 miles a year, a new book claims,” wrote the paper. It went on to blast pets -- from cats to hamsters -- because they use energy. Now I guess lefties can blame previous warming cycles on buffalo (or their SUVs).

Far be it from the Fox Fear Mongering Fascists from giving people facts. My gosh, what would people do with facts?! They might change their behavior and try to lessen their impact by feeding their pets more locally raised or manufactured foods, realizing that they don't need that ball made from petrochemicals manufactured in China, shipped to Illinois and then send 2nd day air to their home.

Seriously people, please keep your heads in the sand so you can't possibly think for yourselves. We are lucky to have the Fox Fear Mongering Fascists do our thinking for us!

We should be used to this theme. The left is on a global campaign to wipe out the trappings of civilization and the media pretend it’s for our good. In a headlong rush to stop something many scientists dispute, the left wants to ban human invention, accomplishment and enjoyment. The media, which reluctantly admit Al Qaeda is somehow bad, can’t muster the same honesty about the eco-movement.

Well duh! The eco-nuts can't stand invention. They are totally against all these new technologies that will allow more people access to solar and wind power.

Accomplishment? Who needs accomplishments?! That's silly. Nobody wants to breathe clean air and and drink clean water.

Enjoyment? No way. Going without a McMansion with no gas guzzling Hummer in the driveway where I can run the air conditioning 24/7 all summer long with the windows down and open. Choosing not to fill your home with a bunch of junk made using toxic chemicals and by a workforce that was outsourced which doesn't keep the workforce employed in the US. That is a life not worth living, why that's Un-American!

Enviro-wackos... California is on the verge of banning big screen TVs because they also use too much energy. (Take that sports bars.) The Golden state is also banning a ship used in the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean” because it has a diesel engine.

Enviro-wackos, geez now I've got to come up with new bully name for you. Hold on, I'll figure it out...

...in the nuclear-free zone of Takoma Park, Maryland., are trying to ban leaf blowers.

Leaf blowers? No way, EVERYONE loves leaf blowers. With their peaceful lullaby-like sound and that smell, oh that smell!

Styrofoam and plastic bags are doomed to a similar end under the all-seeing, lidless eye of the morals police.

Not styrofoam and plastic bags - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. How will we live without these petrochemical godsends?

I MUST have my food touching styrofoam. An enchilada without endocrine disruptors is like watching the news without windbags.

Canvas bags - ewww. I WANT to be wasteful. I WANT to carry to carry 10 plastic bags instead of 2 canvas bags. I want to continue to support the manufacture of petrochemical products which will keep us dependent on foreign oil.

California is on the verge of banning big screen TVs because they also use too much energy. (Take that sports bars.)

Giant TV's - I MUST have a giant energy guzzling TV to watch Mad Men:

How dare California try to support invention that will help accomplish the reduction of energy used. (Hey Dan, I know I should be satisfied with subtlety but I'm not - did you notice the use of the words "invention" and "accomplish", you know 2 of the things that you claim eco-nuts can't stand?).

The Golden state is also banning a ship used in the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean” because it has a diesel engine.

Dan I really hate to muddy the waters with facts and stuff since I know that isn't your style but I'm afraid I'm going to be a bad host and point some things out about the Lady Washington:

1. Said ship is from Washington and does not meet California's air-pollution standards.
2. Said ship has a 60 year old diesel engine.
3. Said ship carries tourists and kids. I'm sure you are a "family values" guy and would agree kids shouldn't be breathing that particulate into their lungs.
4. Upgrades were already decided upon for said ship.
5. Washington states the following about said ship:
"And it's unfortunate that our engine isn't as clean as it should be."

The European Union has already begun its ban on traditional light bulbs and the U.S. Congress has passed that little bit of environmental insanity as well. Forget actual light, the world is being forced to rely on mercury-laden bulbs that will, in turn, become a future eco-disaster.

Fellow-eco nuts, please sit down, I have something to say to you.

Are you ready? I know it's not going to be easy, but it must be said:

Dan is right about the mercury-laden bulbs. Those CFLs are the stupidest idea ever. There is no sarcasm here sadly. Why are we suggesting to people that an alternative that uses mercury is a good idea? Where are our critical thinking skills?! Personally, I prefer LEDs. Do you have an alternative idea? What makes them better?

Okay, back to the regularly scheduled programming.

Forced. I don't think so Dan. There are options, LEDs for example.

The film “No Impact Man” highlighted lefties who tried to live as backward as possible to save Mother Nature.

Unfortunately, I have not seen "No Impact Man" yet but I have read his blog and listened to him on the radio. From what I understand No Impact Man and his family lived within their means, supported local American farmers by buying their food and probably didn't watch the Fox Cocks*. No other way to say it, that's c-r-a-z-y.

*Please cocks, don't take offense because really, you are lovely.

The news media have celebrated that and even dwelled on the no-diaper movement. (Ewwwww!)

Dan, I didn't realize you were still in diapers. Or maybe it's all those gassy exhalations from a possible case of fanny halitosis which requires you to wear one. I'm sorry. Try cloth, they might be softer on your bum.

Of course it doesn’t stop there. It’s one thing to limit our packaging, our technology and underwear. Goveg.com, a pro-vegetarian Web site, enlisted rock stars Paul McCartney and Chrissie Hynde to go after the meat industry -- “one of the leading sources of the greenhouse gases that lead to global warming.”

How dare those actors and rock stars support an organization that wants to provide facts to people and let readers make their own choice. That is definitely NOT "fair and balanced".

Why ban food when you can get rid of people? A researcher from the World Health Organization had the audacity to come out and complain about the “lack of access to family planning.” The left wants to limit human population via birth control.

No, we want to limit human population via the practice of swallowing.

Additional benefits include no greenhouse gases, it's fair and balanced as it can be enjoyed by people of both sexes and it's technically vegetarian. Technically.

That’s reminiscent of Paul Watson, founder and president of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, who wants to “re-wild the planet.”

I think you should have quoted Ronald Reagan instead, "What is a conservative after all but one who conserves, one who is committed to protecting and holding close the things by which we live... And we want to protect and conserve the land on which we live—our countryside, our rivers and mountains, our plains and meadows and forests. This is our patrimony. This is what we leave to our children. And our great moral responsibility is to leave it to them either as we found it or better than we found it.”

In the process, this star of Animal Planet’s “Whale Wars” prefers to see humans die off and wants the human population to drop below 1 billion. That’s 5.5 billion folks who will become expendable, though I doubt they’d agree.

You know Dan, I'm sure you researched your article "real gooder" but I can't find where Paul Watson states that 4.5 billion people are expendable.

That is the natural culmination the left is working toward. Just like communist China, they will move to limit births. When that isn’t enough, who knows how far they will go in their orthodoxy?

Wait, I just made-up a joke!

How are eco-nuts like Al Qaeda? Communist China!!!!!

You don't get it? Hey, you are NOT supposed to ask questions, you are just supposed to listen, read and regurgitate the hate and lies.

To hear Al Gore tell it, the battle against global warming is reminiscent of World War II. In July, he told an English audience, “Winston Churchill aroused this nation in heroic fashion to save civilization in World War II.”

Kinda reminds me of those conservative Mormons who claimed that the self-inflicted Proposition 8 backlash is just like what African Americans experienced in the south when they fought for civil rights.

Yes, but Britain was on the side of civilization. The eco-nuts are not.

All the eco-nut recycling, innovation, alternative energy, supporting American farmers and workers, accomplishments, keeping healthy by avoiding chemicals, suggesting taking mass transit when possible - it's all a secret plot to end civilization.

Guys, Dan, is sooooo smart!

(Pssst, everyone but Dan, I'm going to use a Fox Farse trick...)

Dan, you are an UNPATRIOTIC, socialist loving liar. SHUT UP.

(Did he fall for it?)

Dan Gainor is The Boone Pickens Fellow and the Media Research Center’s Vice President for Business and Culture. He writes frequently for the Fox Forum and can be seen as a guest on Foxnews.com’s “Strategy Room.” He can also be contacted on FaceBook and Twitter as dangainor.

GreenInOC is not a fellow and is the top researcher on her laptop. She writes infrequently for eco-nuts and anyone else who wants to read and will not ever be a guest on FoxFarts.com's "Fair and Balanced Liars Room". She cannot be contacted via FaceBook but can be found on Twitter as greeninoc.

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